I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize