Are we in a gay sports bar?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
