We're facebook friends in real life
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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