hotel room ftw
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
