I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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