ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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