is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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