Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
