My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
