I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
