U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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