she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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