Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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