Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
