singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
