"it" just moved
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
