have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
