what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
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