Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I am one with the molecules
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
