I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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