Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
