Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
