Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
