From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we're making bets on your personal life
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
