Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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