i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
