it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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