Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
