so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
