is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
