There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
