i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
