this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
