YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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