Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize