I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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