we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
