I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
