i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
