im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
