How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
