Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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