In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
