I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
