I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
