every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
