I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
