Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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