awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
