We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
