batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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