at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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