So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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