It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
