This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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