i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
