Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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