I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
