Your favorite bartender is back from prision
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
