she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
